Tears of Pride

It's no secret that boys are obsessed with appendages that hang from their bodies and things that exit from them. When Progeny One was younger, we were playing a game and he stopped playing and told me to hang on.

"I gotta go take a dunk," he said hurrying to the bathroom.

"A what?" I asked as he flew past me, his hands covering his butt as if to hold evathang in.

"A dunk," he repeated.

"What in the world is a dunk," I asked in genuine confusion.

"You know...a dunk. I gotta go poo poo."

Ah...a DUMP.

After I got through gagging, I thought it was kind of cute. Since those early, formative years, I have also taught him to say the following...

"I must go negotiate the release of the chocolate hostages"

"I need to go drop the Brown's off"

"I'm touching cloth"

"That one bruised the bowl"

And last but not least, from our dear friend Mike Myers, "I've got a turtle head pokin' out" complete with a thick Irish brogue.