Conversations With Mother

As many of you may know, my parents house burned to the ground back in May and suffered a total loss. My parents have been living with me since then as their new house is being built. Basically everything my mother owns at this point was donated to her after the fire. She hasn't really bought anything new becuase she doesnt want to have to fool with a bunch of stuff when it's time to move. Now...on to the story.

When I woke up early this morning, my mom and dad had already left and did not return home until late this evening. We were sitting in the den catching up when I caught a whiff of death. At almost the exact same moment, mother says:

Mother: "Goodness...my feet really smell."

Moi: "Oh my gosh...that is the worst smell ever. Please go boil your feet." I was tempted to tell hubby to get some crime scene tape out of his cruiser and rope her off.

Mother: "Well...you know...come to think of it...these shoes were donated and it could be that-"

Moi: "Uh huh. No you don't. Don't try to blame that funk wafting out of those shoes on that woman who gave them to you out of the goodness of her heart. Don't try to act like you wearing them ALL DAY LONG IN ONE HUNDRED DEGREE WEATHER has merely kicked up HER rotteness. That is just wrong."