Lies I've Told My Mother

• "For some reason, the schools have decided not to do report cards anymore." She bought it and I graduated with a 1.65 hence my multiple spelling and grammatical errors on all of my posts.
• When I was Seventeen, I told her I babysat every single Friday Night. I was actually a regular at The SideTrack (hole in the wall bar beside train tracks).
• "It wasn't me who egged the teacher's house. They told me they needed a ride some where and I was just being a good friend and giving it to them. I had no idea what they had planned" I was later arrested for Criminal Mischief.
• "No, I don't smoke. Marsha was smoking and I walked through her smoke with my mouth open."
  
• "I have not drank A beer tonight." Technically this was not a lie because I had not drank A beer...I had consumed several.
• "I have no idea why my room smells like 'dope'."
• "This lady was driving backwards down the highway and bumped into me but the police officer still says its my fault."
• "I'm going to go spend the weekend at Margo's house. I'll be back late Sunday night." Margo was an elderly lady I worked with who lived about two miles away. I actually partied all weekend in Atlanta which is about FOUR HOURS away. Way fun.
• "Can you believe they fired me for being too good at my job? Does that even make sense?"
• "Senior trip is just about hanging out on the beach one last time with your friends. It is not a modern day Sodom and Gomorrha (I don't even know how to spell this...but this is her favorite saying for debauchery).
• I don't know why you have a $47 late fee at Blockbuster."
  

Most recent lie:

• "That's not our beer. That's the next door neighbor's. She bought too much food at the grocery store and asked me to hold it for her. I didn't really want to but I borrowed some tea bags from her last week so I felt obligated."