Nature's Remedy

One night my father had FIERCE heart burn and there was no antacid in the house. Mother told him to drink some Baking Soda in water and it would make him burp and relieve his indigestion. He refused to drink it until mom basically told him to either do it or shut up. He complied and peace and quiet reigned once again.

Some minutes later, as I lay in the dark with my bedroom door closed, I heard a mad scramble down the hall. Then I heard my father projectile vomit seconds before it hit the wall. My mother began to immediately yell at my father.

"Why didn't you go to the bathroom? Why did you keep laying there?" She screamed.

"Well foot! You kept saying 'It'll make you burp! It'll make you burp!' I didn't know," he replied, disgruntled.

"Well I sure am glad I didn't tell you it'd make you fart! You'd have shit all over yourself!"