Ridicluelessness

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

www.egotastic.com

Unbikiniable

I am all about embracing women and their flaws and not making young girls grow up with distorted views of what they should look like blah blah. Got that out of the way. Shall we begin?

Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. Be thankful the American Idol (Go Taylor!) contest is not based on how you look frolicking in them there waves. Just because you can wear a bikini does not always mean you should. There comes a point in every womans life when she reaches an age that she just does not look good in certain things.

Sadly, that time for you has arrived. Four words...TERRY CLOTH COVER UP. They sell them everyday at Target for less than $20 bucks. Run.

5 Comments:

T-girl said...: UGH! Thanks for THAT image!; 8:06 PM
D. Prince said...: I saw some of these pictures today and I thought:

If I can't wear a strings bikini anymore then Kelly Clarkson definitely shouldn't be wearing a string bikini.; 9:44 PM
小蘋果 said...: Kim I have decided that I will never wear a bikini.; 10:15 PM
Sharie said...: Ditto Jen! LOL! Not if I can help it!; 2:14 AM
Anonymous said...: LOL. Good lord, cover that sh!t up!!!! She hasn't even given birth to a baby and she looks like that! At least I could blame my daughter for my fat rolls.

Bt the way, Taylor sucks!!!! Go Chris and Katherine!!!! Boo Taylor!!!; 9:29 AM

Post a Comment

<< Home

: Name: Maddie; Location: Alabama

I know what you're thinking: I'm from Alabama and I have no business whatsoever pointing out the flaws of Hollywood Celebrities. But I'm very talented at running my mouth due to my years of working in Radio. I follow the daily lives of celebrities because it's a few hours a day that I am not trying to run my own advertising agency or be a mother to two little boys who demand juice every five mintues on rotating shifts. I have a wonderful bonus son who is determined to drive us all crazy and his mother (my husband's ex wife and dear friend of mine) into an early grave. My husband is a police officer and HORRIFIC pool boy. My mother's vocabulary includes words such as 'attack-ted' and 'muncho'. So who am I to tell celebrities that they should never have visible camel toe?

View my complete profile

Terms and Definitions

Trailer Park Tammy • ( 'trA-ler park tam âe)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, who appears as if she resides in a heavily populated trailer park.
Ex: Britney Spears

Redneck Rita • (red-ânek rit a)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, whose actions and opinions are similar to those of the rural South.
Ex: Tara Reid

Mattress-Back Road-Whore
(ma-tres bak rOd hOr)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, who appears to have had many multiple partners and has a weathered appearance.
Ex. Paris Hilton

Fug • (fUg)
adj.: Frightingly ugly.
Ex. Bjork

Whoreible • (hOr a ble)
adj.: Marked by or conducive to horrible. Can also be used as a noun or pronoun.
Ex. Sharon Stone

Whoretrocious • (hOrtrO-shes)
adj.: Utterly revolting
Ex. Kevin Federline

Gone • (go-n)
adj.: So far removed from reality it is unlikely to come back. Can be used as a noun or pronoun.
Ex. "That outfit is so gone."

Skank • (ske[a]k)
adj.: An individual whose actions are similar to those of a Trailer Park Tammy or Mattress Back Roadwhore.
Ex. Jessica Simpson

Puddin • (pu-din)
adj.: An individual who may not reside in a trailer park but probably should.
Ex. Lindsey Lohan

Critter • (kri-ter)
adj.: A being of anomalous or uncertain aspect or nature.
Ex. Whitney Houston

Fantabulous • (fan'tab ye-les) adj.: The combined usage of âfabulousâ and âfantasticâ.
Ex. Jessica Alba

Whore • (hOr)
adj.: Jessica Simpson
Ex. Angelina Jolie

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

5 Comments:

About Me

Previous Posts