Ridicluelessness

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Get Your Tubes Tied Please

First there was a press conference then it was cancelled. Supposedly...it was to tell us that yes, Britney is in fact pregnant (old news) and she is having a girl which is due in October. Not only has our little cup of trailer puddin been busy procreating, but she has also hired a babysitter for HER HUSBAND! Evidently, K-Sperm did not want wifey dear tagging along with him while he promoted the worst album ever made, so she hired ex-CIA officer Richard Somthinganuther to watch over him.

Can you imagne the fashion GET UP she is going to subject that poor child to? How many kids does this make for Kevin now? I mean...he could star in his on Eight is Enough episode.

2 Comments:

T-girl said...: Well... um... uh... ICK! WHY, OH, WHY is this girl allowed to reproduce??? And not only THAT... with HIM! ICK! Just the whole logistics of it totally ick me out! Gross, I wish we could go back to the good 'ol days when Justin Timberlake was outing her and she was "shocked!"; 12:53 AM
Anonymous said...: Nice! Where you get this guestbook? I want the same script.. Awesome content. thankyou.
»; 7:35 PM

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: Name: Maddie; Location: Alabama

I know what you're thinking: I'm from Alabama and I have no business whatsoever pointing out the flaws of Hollywood Celebrities. But I'm very talented at running my mouth due to my years of working in Radio. I follow the daily lives of celebrities because it's a few hours a day that I am not trying to run my own advertising agency or be a mother to two little boys who demand juice every five mintues on rotating shifts. I have a wonderful bonus son who is determined to drive us all crazy and his mother (my husband's ex wife and dear friend of mine) into an early grave. My husband is a police officer and HORRIFIC pool boy. My mother's vocabulary includes words such as 'attack-ted' and 'muncho'. So who am I to tell celebrities that they should never have visible camel toe?

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Terms and Definitions

Trailer Park Tammy • ( 'trA-ler park tam âe)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, who appears as if she resides in a heavily populated trailer park.
Ex: Britney Spears

Redneck Rita • (red-ânek rit a)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, whose actions and opinions are similar to those of the rural South.
Ex: Tara Reid

Mattress-Back Road-Whore
(ma-tres bak rOd hOr)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, who appears to have had many multiple partners and has a weathered appearance.
Ex. Paris Hilton

Fug • (fUg)
adj.: Frightingly ugly.
Ex. Bjork

Whoreible • (hOr a ble)
adj.: Marked by or conducive to horrible. Can also be used as a noun or pronoun.
Ex. Sharon Stone

Whoretrocious • (hOrtrO-shes)
adj.: Utterly revolting
Ex. Kevin Federline

Gone • (go-n)
adj.: So far removed from reality it is unlikely to come back. Can be used as a noun or pronoun.
Ex. "That outfit is so gone."

Skank • (ske[a]k)
adj.: An individual whose actions are similar to those of a Trailer Park Tammy or Mattress Back Roadwhore.
Ex. Jessica Simpson

Puddin • (pu-din)
adj.: An individual who may not reside in a trailer park but probably should.
Ex. Lindsey Lohan

Critter • (kri-ter)
adj.: A being of anomalous or uncertain aspect or nature.
Ex. Whitney Houston

Fantabulous • (fan'tab ye-les) adj.: The combined usage of âfabulousâ and âfantasticâ.
Ex. Jessica Alba

Whore • (hOr)
adj.: Jessica Simpson
Ex. Angelina Jolie

Thursday, May 04, 2006

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