Conversations With My Mother Part One

Mom: "Hello?"

Moi: "Hey...guess what I did today?"

Mom: "What did you do sweetie?"

Moi: "I got a tattoo. It says Jesus in Aramaic. Its a dead language."

Mom: "Your body is a temple! The Bible speaks out against marking your body!"

Moi: "I know but it says Jesus. In Aramaic."

Mom: "Well. The thought was nice but its still wrong."

Moi: "I put it on my shoulder blade."

Mom: Gasp..."Tell me you didn't!"

Moi: "I did. Its in Aramaic."

Mom: "Please tell me you didn't. I am really hoping you are going to tell me you didn't."

Moi: "I did. But it says Jesus mother!"

Mom: "You know what? I'm not surprised. You went and got your navel pierced and you get all those buttocks shots!"

Moi: "You mean Botox."

Mom: " What?"

Moi: You said 'buttocks but I think you mean Botox."

Mom: "Well you know what I meant. I am just really disappointed."

Moi: "Well I am just kidding. I didn't really."

Mom: "I am so glad."

Moi: "Okay...well...I'll talk to you later."

Mom: "Bye sweetheart."

Moi: "Bye."