Mission Impossible

Don't worry...he's not dead. Not only is my father a scary individual when he sleeps, but he also can fall asleep at a moments notice. Its almost like narcolepsy but different. You can be having a conversation with him and turn your back for a second...snore....he's out.

As a child I would wait for him to sleep so I could dig out mother's make up to put on him. My father would wake up looking like Dame Edna. Eye shadow, lip gloss, blush...fingernail polish. You name it.

I would wait for him to start snoring then I would run from the room, get my stuff and return. I worked quickly and quietly. I don't know why I felt I had to do this but I did. When he would finally wake up, it would take him most of the day before he found it. The first few times, my brothers would point it out and start laughing, but after a while even they got into the spirit of things and stopped telling him.

My proudest moment was when my father watched the biggest college football game (Roll Tide!) of the year with pink lipstick. We were talking during the game and he yelled at us to be quiet but of course none of us took him seriously. He was wearing pink lipstick after all.