I'm Too Sexy For Your Friends

There comes a time in every young persons life that they must accept the fact that yes, their parents have sex. Unfortunately, I was faced with my own realization surrounded by ten of my close friends.

When the Camcorders first came out, my parents bought one. It was the big kind that you had to sit on your shoulder and used a regular sized VHS tape...but anyway....some friends and I decided we would film ourselves jumping ramps on our four wheelers. So I picked a tape from the collection, popped it in the camera, and commenced to filming all afternoon.

A few hours later, we were dying to look at the tape and see who jumped the highest, best, coolest, whatever. So we all gathered as close around the television as we could get. I put the tape in and mashed play. There were staticy lines for a second or two and then another image. Of a naked woman. Stepping out of the shower. My guest shower to be exact.

My friend Mark, who has fingers like E.T, said, "Dude! That's your Momma!"

"No, it's not!" I said quickly. Too quickly.

"Yes it is! Here, I'll show you!"

Lord God.

For the next thirty minutes we watched my mother step out of the shower over and over and over and over again. And then some more. And one more time for good measure.

When my mother got home later that night, she asked how my day went.

"Oh pretty good I guess. All of my friends saw you naked."

"What?!?!" She asked, clearly mortified. I broke it down for her.

For the rest of the evening, she made me reenact what happened on the video. I tried to get her to watch it for herself but she said she couldn't bear to do it. Just to rib her a little, I told her my friends thought she was hot.

"Oh! Get out of here! This is nothing to joke about! Really?"