Even The Guy Behind Her Looks Upset

You know how victims of violent crimes feel dirty and have an unnatural desire to clean themselves over and over again? That's how I felt after looking at this get up. Christy Turlington is so gorgeous but if I were attending that event, I would ask her to take off her tie and choke me with it. Then I would ask her to take the heels of those clod hoppers she has on, and grind them into my eye balls. After she had removed my sight, I would ask her to give that shirt back to that poor Jehovah Witness who is somewhere riding his bike from neighborhood to neighborhood passing out pamphlets desperately trying to recall the last place he left his smart but understated button down.