Out Of The Mouths Of Husbands

When Progeny One was about two and just beginning to speak in complete sentences, he came to me and asked me why his baby cousin didn't have a 'pee pee'.

"Well," I began, "Your cousin is a little girl and little girls are made differently than little boys."

"Is daddy a boy?" He asked.

"He sure is," I assured him. Hubby was in the kitchen cooking when I heard him yell into the den:

"Daddy is BIG boy cause daddy has a BIG pee pee," said the man who gave my child half of his DNA.

"Your going to regret that," I yelled at him trying to raise my voice above his hysterical laughter. About forty five minutes later as we sat down to eat, the phone rang and it was my mother. We chatted for a few minutes while Progeny One begged to speak with 'mam maw'. I handed him the phone.

"Hey Mam Maw!" He said excitedly. "Guess what? My daddy has a BIG pee pee!"

From five feet away I hear my mother exclaim "LORD GOD!" I grabbed the phone from P1.
My mother was still screaming into the phone. "I'm not taking that baby to church for six months! He's liable to get up to sing with the other children and get a hold of that microphone and tell every church member we got all about his daddy and his pee pee. I cannot talk right now. I am going to lay down."

Click.