I'm Torn

Looking at this picture, made me nostalgic. I began to yearn for the train wreck that was Ben Ho or the original Bennifer. I miss the days when Ben gave Metrosexual's a good name...the times when he and J. Lo were everywhere with their glowing, luminescent skin and pink diamonds. I can remember thinking that all would be well with the world again when it was announced their would be no dancing on a Plexiglas covered pool at his and Jennifer's reception. Now, I'm not so sure. While I'm glad that 'a good girl' has won, what has she done to him?

Exhibit A.
Calf High Socks- Look, I understand that he and his wife are talking a leisurely stroll with their young daughter but did he really have to go there? Couldn't he have worn a footie?

Exhibit B.
Paunch- He must be really happy. I mean really happy to let himself go. I would like to think he's gained all that weight eating whip cream off of his wife's body but I'm thinking it was probably more like gravy.

All I'm asking for his a little gel, a little self tanner and a little less nylon short. Is that too much to ask?