Let The Battle For Earth Begin

Yeah...we've all heard the news. After an eleven month pregnancy, Katie Holmes finally gave birth to Tom's baby. Wink wink...nudge nudge.

I have a few questions about the birth, some of which I am sure will never be answered.

1. Did Tom eat the placenta?
2. Did Katie tell him to get the $#@* out of her face?
3. What kind of trauma do Scientologists think will be visited on the baby later in life if Katie tooted while pushing? I mean...what if it was really really loud...especially if no one was talking?
4. Did Katie snap out of her brainwashed haze even for a second?
5. How will she manage to go with out shopping for the next twenty four hours?
6. Did Xenu send a gift? If so...what was it?

I think it is simply too much to ask of one person.