Ode To Lortab

I had a little run in with a kitchen knife on Thursday night and had to go to the ED to get stitches. After waiting FOREVER, I was finally called back and was immediately seen by the doctor.

"Yeah...you're going to need a few stitches. That's a bad place too...it's going to be hard to heal," he stated as he prepared a surgical field to do the stitches.

"Okay, we're going to clean it up for you real good, stitch it and dress it. You'll need to keep the dressing clean and dry for two days then remove the dressing and clean it. You'll need to return in ten days to have the stitches removed," he said in a bored voice, as if he had repeated the same speech hundreds of times.

"I bet its going to hurt tomorrow, " I mused allowed. All I could really think about at this point was the needle they were going to shove into my open wound in order to numb it prior to stitching it.

"I'll give you something for pain, " he said. My ears perked up. I tried to stamp down the excitement that began to bubble in the pit of my stomach. What kind will he give me? I bet it wont be a fun kind...I mean...I'm just getting a few stitches. It's not like I have a major laceration.

"Lortab okay?" He asked as he returned in the room. How should I answer this? If I nod my head too emphatically he'll think I'm a druggie.

"That's fine," I said as demurely as possible. He makes quick work of the stitches, dresses my wound and sends me out with a prescription.

As I am walking back out to my car, I overhear a skank on the phone, crying to whomever she's talking too. "They won't give me nutthin' for pain. I don't know what I'm goin to do."

Because of my good mood, I refrained from telling her that she could ease everyone elses pain by removing her hideous pink hat.