Cough *GAY* CoughIt's official. Jake Gyllenhal will be starring in his first porn film.
posted by Maddie at 8:03 PM
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Cough *GAY* CoughIt's official. Jake Gyllenhal will be starring in his first porn film.
About Me
- Name: Maddie
- Location: Alabama
I know what you're thinking: I'm from Alabama and I have no business whatsoever pointing out the flaws of Hollywood Celebrities. But I'm very talented at running my mouth due to my years of working in Radio. I follow the daily lives of celebrities because it's a few hours a day that I am not trying to run my own advertising agency or be a mother to two little boys who demand juice every five mintues on rotating shifts. I have a wonderful bonus son who is determined to drive us all crazy and his mother (my husband's ex wife and dear friend of mine) into an early grave. My husband is a police officer and HORRIFIC pool boy. My mother's vocabulary includes words such as 'attack-ted' and 'muncho'. So who am I to tell celebrities that they should never have visible camel toe?
Terms and Definitions
Trailer Park Tammy • ( 'trA-ler park tam âe)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, who appears as if she resides in a heavily populated trailer park.
Ex: Britney Spears
Redneck Rita • (red-ânek rit a)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, whose actions and opinions are similar to those of the rural South.
Ex: Tara Reid
Mattress-Back Road-Whore
(ma-tres bak rOd hOr)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, who appears to have had many multiple partners and has a weathered appearance.
Ex. Paris Hilton
Fug • (fUg)
adj.: Frightingly ugly.
Ex. Bjork
Whoreible • (hOr a ble)
adj.: Marked by or conducive to horrible. Can also be used as a noun or pronoun.
Ex. Sharon Stone
Whoretrocious • (hOrtrO-shes)
adj.: Utterly revolting
Ex. Kevin Federline
Gone • (go-n)
adj.: So far removed from reality it is unlikely to come back. Can be used as a noun or pronoun.
Ex. "That outfit is so gone."
Skank • (ske[a]k)
adj.: An individual whose actions are similar to those of a Trailer Park Tammy or Mattress Back Roadwhore.
Ex. Jessica Simpson
Puddin • (pu-din)
adj.: An individual who may not reside in a trailer park but probably should.
Ex. Lindsey Lohan
Critter • (kri-ter)
adj.: A being of anomalous or uncertain aspect or nature.
Ex. Whitney Houston
Fantabulous • (fan'tab ye-les) adj.: The combined usage of âfabulousâ and âfantasticâ.
Ex. Jessica Alba
Whore • (hOr)
adj.: Jessica Simpson
Ex. Angelina Jolie
Trailer Park Tammy • ( 'trA-ler park tam âe)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, who appears as if she resides in a heavily populated trailer park.
Ex: Britney Spears
Redneck Rita • (red-ânek rit a)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, whose actions and opinions are similar to those of the rural South.
Ex: Tara Reid
Mattress-Back Road-Whore
(ma-tres bak rOd hOr)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, who appears to have had many multiple partners and has a weathered appearance.
Ex. Paris Hilton
Fug • (fUg)
adj.: Frightingly ugly.
Ex. Bjork
Whoreible • (hOr a ble)
adj.: Marked by or conducive to horrible. Can also be used as a noun or pronoun.
Ex. Sharon Stone
Whoretrocious • (hOrtrO-shes)
adj.: Utterly revolting
Ex. Kevin Federline
Gone • (go-n)
adj.: So far removed from reality it is unlikely to come back. Can be used as a noun or pronoun.
Ex. "That outfit is so gone."
Skank • (ske[a]k)
adj.: An individual whose actions are similar to those of a Trailer Park Tammy or Mattress Back Roadwhore.
Ex. Jessica Simpson
Puddin • (pu-din)
adj.: An individual who may not reside in a trailer park but probably should.
Ex. Lindsey Lohan
Critter • (kri-ter)
adj.: A being of anomalous or uncertain aspect or nature.
Ex. Whitney Houston
Fantabulous • (fan'tab ye-les) adj.: The combined usage of âfabulousâ and âfantasticâ.
Ex. Jessica Alba
Whore • (hOr)
adj.: Jessica Simpson
Ex. Angelina Jolie
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10 Comments:
I really couldn't fucking believe this picture! For all of the reasons you've listed.
Do you think he's just teasing us? I mean, it even says Dean on his shorts.
Well, I guess Kirsten Dunst could turn any man gay.
GET OUT! That's Jake Gyllenhal? That's it, he's ruined for me forever.
WWWHHHOOOAAAAAA!!!!
Nooooooooooo! I'll never believe it. Not my Jakey! Noooooooooooo!
Is *that* who that is????
Daaaaaaaaaaaamn. That's some scary stuff.
Di
Gay or not, I'll star in the film with him. Of course, I'm a girl, so he'll probably just ask me to do the lighting or something.
Still, I understand this picture is damning evidence, but I'm just not willing to concede on this point. Yet.
LOL @ Mishy. I know plenty of girls who would beg to do the lighting for him but I just dont' get it. I honestly could careless if he's gay...he's ever done anything for me anyway.
Hey girl,just wanted you to know I get a huge smile reading your stuff.You have a gift of making people laugh and that sometimes can be the greatest gift of all.Hope you and yours are doing great.P.S.did the popcorn trees grow.Equina
Equina...what up girl?
Sadly, my popcorn trees did not grow. All of my plants are pretty much struggling right now and Bill Bob, my adopted red neck dog, has killed my tulips.
Well that rdnk dog would lay in the pool slurpin on some ole ice tea if he knew it was cooler than your tulips.As for your trees, that I can fix in the fall.Bring the boys by to ride sometime.Equnia
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