Shotgun On The Short Bus
posted by Maddie at 8:55 AM
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Shotgun On The Short BusAbout Me
- Name: Maddie
- Location: Alabama
I know what you're thinking: I'm from Alabama and I have no business whatsoever pointing out the flaws of Hollywood Celebrities. But I'm very talented at running my mouth due to my years of working in Radio. I follow the daily lives of celebrities because it's a few hours a day that I am not trying to run my own advertising agency or be a mother to two little boys who demand juice every five mintues on rotating shifts. I have a wonderful bonus son who is determined to drive us all crazy and his mother (my husband's ex wife and dear friend of mine) into an early grave. My husband is a police officer and HORRIFIC pool boy. My mother's vocabulary includes words such as 'attack-ted' and 'muncho'. So who am I to tell celebrities that they should never have visible camel toe?
Terms and Definitions
Trailer Park Tammy • ( 'trA-ler park tam âe)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, who appears as if she resides in a heavily populated trailer park.
Ex: Britney Spears
Redneck Rita • (red-ânek rit a)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, whose actions and opinions are similar to those of the rural South.
Ex: Tara Reid
Mattress-Back Road-Whore
(ma-tres bak rOd hOr)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, who appears to have had many multiple partners and has a weathered appearance.
Ex. Paris Hilton
Fug • (fUg)
adj.: Frightingly ugly.
Ex. Bjork
Whoreible • (hOr a ble)
adj.: Marked by or conducive to horrible. Can also be used as a noun or pronoun.
Ex. Sharon Stone
Whoretrocious • (hOrtrO-shes)
adj.: Utterly revolting
Ex. Kevin Federline
Gone • (go-n)
adj.: So far removed from reality it is unlikely to come back. Can be used as a noun or pronoun.
Ex. "That outfit is so gone."
Skank • (ske[a]k)
adj.: An individual whose actions are similar to those of a Trailer Park Tammy or Mattress Back Roadwhore.
Ex. Jessica Simpson
Puddin • (pu-din)
adj.: An individual who may not reside in a trailer park but probably should.
Ex. Lindsey Lohan
Critter • (kri-ter)
adj.: A being of anomalous or uncertain aspect or nature.
Ex. Whitney Houston
Fantabulous • (fan'tab ye-les) adj.: The combined usage of âfabulousâ and âfantasticâ.
Ex. Jessica Alba
Whore • (hOr)
adj.: Jessica Simpson
Ex. Angelina Jolie
Trailer Park Tammy • ( 'trA-ler park tam âe)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, who appears as if she resides in a heavily populated trailer park.
Ex: Britney Spears
Redneck Rita • (red-ânek rit a)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, whose actions and opinions are similar to those of the rural South.
Ex: Tara Reid
Mattress-Back Road-Whore
(ma-tres bak rOd hOr)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, who appears to have had many multiple partners and has a weathered appearance.
Ex. Paris Hilton
Fug • (fUg)
adj.: Frightingly ugly.
Ex. Bjork
Whoreible • (hOr a ble)
adj.: Marked by or conducive to horrible. Can also be used as a noun or pronoun.
Ex. Sharon Stone
Whoretrocious • (hOrtrO-shes)
adj.: Utterly revolting
Ex. Kevin Federline
Gone • (go-n)
adj.: So far removed from reality it is unlikely to come back. Can be used as a noun or pronoun.
Ex. "That outfit is so gone."
Skank • (ske[a]k)
adj.: An individual whose actions are similar to those of a Trailer Park Tammy or Mattress Back Roadwhore.
Ex. Jessica Simpson
Puddin • (pu-din)
adj.: An individual who may not reside in a trailer park but probably should.
Ex. Lindsey Lohan
Critter • (kri-ter)
adj.: A being of anomalous or uncertain aspect or nature.
Ex. Whitney Houston
Fantabulous • (fan'tab ye-les) adj.: The combined usage of âfabulousâ and âfantasticâ.
Ex. Jessica Alba
Whore • (hOr)
adj.: Jessica Simpson
Ex. Angelina Jolie
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9 Comments:
Oh Lord! I cannot STOMACH him!
CAN.NOT.STAAAAAAAAAAND.HIM.
I think him and Jessica deserve each other. Maybe they can start their own mutual admiration society and leave the rest of the world alone.
Lord woman - where DO you find these pictures! LMAO
That guitar is fine!
Thank you, Maddie. It's about damn time someone else recognized that he is NOT cute. Why do people fall all over him? Yeah, yeah good voice *rolling eyes*. Ew, he's so not sexy.
I find him repulsive. I think it's more the way he moves his body that makes me gag the most.
I smell a publicity scam. They both have new albums out. Papa Joe probably set it up.
he looks retarded. he looks terrible in that picture too. then again, jess don't look that hot in the mug either. it's her boobs and the rest of her body that get her the attention. i don't care for her. she's way to stupid. and why would she want jennifer love hewitt's castoff's? i mean, the dude wrote a song about her and she dumped him before he could say it was about her.
Can you make him GO AWAY!?!?! I almost prefer JLo's ASS to this picture! Next time you decide to lose your housekeeper can you do it when the picture is not quite SO attrocious? I mean seriuously think of our sanity here... and his because at this point I am in serious doubt of it's existance.
Thanks- the general public...and me of course! LOL
LMAO..OKAY OKAY...new post...
[color=#594b4b]When I need to say something, I am gonna say it strongly. Also this is who I am and if you don't enjoy what you hear, then my advice is to go on to another page. If you don't like my idea it is your problem, not mine. I am really convinced about what I thinkit is real. Part of myself is really afraid and preoccupaid about money spent on it but the other side couldn't care less. Unluckily, my husband is not the same. Please, send positive energy, do a magic ritual what ever to send the positive vibrations this way and keep life this way. I have the echo in my hears bitching about [/color] [url=http://www.
soundlabs.info/sitemap.html]ringtone[/url] [color=#594b4b]exploding in my brain, and how says he's going to hate to spend time like this. Unfortunately, this was also not false. Barbara and I were going through a not so long duration period of being an happy couple when he asked an innocent enough question. Fair enough.
Goodbye everyone[/color]
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