I Feel Like A Woman

Announcer: Ladies and Gentleman...the moment you've all been waiting for...SHANIA TWAIN!

Crowd roars.

J.Lo: Marc, honey, who did they just introduce?

Marc: Shania Twat or something. Have you seen my plasma?

J.Lo: Who is Shania?

Marc: You know...that woman who wears horrid clothes and sings country songs. I know I left it around here somewhere. It's in a white plastic bag and it's real red. Have you seen it? I've got my IV in and I'm ready to go.

J.Lo: No, I haven't seen it. Why is she here? This is my concert. Why is he introducing her?

Marc: I have no idea, but I really need to find that blood. The sun is coming up in five hours and I've got to get two more bags in before I lay down in my casket.

J.Lo: Could you think about someone besides your self for a moment?! Xenu! You make me loco sometimes. Who the hell is Shania and why is she at my concert?

Chick in a headset : Mrs. Lo...I think he's talking about you. He must have gotten you confused when he saw your outfit.

Marc: See, it's no big deal. Go out there and break a leg...but put some concealer on those bite marks on your neck before you go out there.