Absolut Skank

Jank jank yo panties stank...did anyone else ever deliver that particular phrase, the ultimate put down, on the playground? I hated when someone broke that out before I could. Anyway, this post is not about childish recess insults, it's about the fact that Kelly Osborn has a tremendous red headband on and a cavernous belly button visible through her shirt. It's also about the fact that Tara Reid looks like she's whispering "psst...do you know where the drinks are?".

Goodness gracious...I don't even know where to start. I'll just go from left to right to make it easy.

Kelly- Homegirl. You look like that girl on that cartoon The Adventures of Billy and Mandy. And why do you have bruises A'la Paris Hilton on your arm? Sigh...the shirt. While I can appreciate your effort, I must say that the fact that your belly button has its own government should discourage you from wearing garments that proudly boast the fact. In the words of another, "Someone could eat cereal out of that sucker."

Tara-What is it exactly that you do again? No no...I know you drink, but what do you do? I understand that you party a lot but I want to know WHAT YOU DO FOR A LIVING? 'Cause whatever it is, it must not require you display even a small modicum of pride in your appearance. Get your roots done please. If you have the time to have your stomach lipo'd to lumpy perfection, then you have a few hours to spare to get your hair did. Could you possibly slump just a little more. Great. That looks perfect.