Visions Of Kevin As A Single Man

Dear Britney,

Dare I dream? Would it be futile for me to hope that you have shed your white trash skin? Other than K. Sperm of course. You look RAVISHING in the red satin a'la Marilyn Monroe. Your hair looks healthy and shiny and your make-up is once again flawless. Your boobs look a little golf ball in a sockish but hey...it takes time. You can always get your boob job redone. No..no...don't deny it. We all know you had an enhancement. Embrace the saline Britney. Embrace the saline.

I must take issue though with the hem length of your dress. Sweet pea...your legs are too stumpy and Barney Rubbilish to wear that length. You should go shorter but I know we are taking baby steps so I wont harp on all of the things that you are doing wrong (Kevin Federline).
Other than losing those shoes in the nearest dumpster, I am really pleased with your progress. I don't want to be presumptions, but I feel a reconciliation could be in our future.

Like,

Maddie