Ridicluelessness

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Brokedown Mountain

You know some pregnant women get that certain 'glow' and their hair gets thick and shiny. Their skin becomes flawless and their nails get long and healthy. They look so cute in their little maternity shirts and they usually have a pleasant, serene look on their face.

This is Maggie Gyllenhal and she has none of those things. She looks like a white Aunt Jemima and I suddenly find myself with an aversion to pancake syrup.

4 Comments:

sharonje927 said...: you are right Maddie.

Nothing has changed at all, for her. She still looks the same.; 1:01 PM
D. Prince said...: She actually looks dull and greasy. Maybe she'll look better during her second triemester.; 9:44 PM
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: Name: Maddie; Location: Alabama

I know what you're thinking: I'm from Alabama and I have no business whatsoever pointing out the flaws of Hollywood Celebrities. But I'm very talented at running my mouth due to my years of working in Radio. I follow the daily lives of celebrities because it's a few hours a day that I am not trying to run my own advertising agency or be a mother to two little boys who demand juice every five mintues on rotating shifts. I have a wonderful bonus son who is determined to drive us all crazy and his mother (my husband's ex wife and dear friend of mine) into an early grave. My husband is a police officer and HORRIFIC pool boy. My mother's vocabulary includes words such as 'attack-ted' and 'muncho'. So who am I to tell celebrities that they should never have visible camel toe?

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Terms and Definitions

Trailer Park Tammy • ( 'trA-ler park tam âe)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, who appears as if she resides in a heavily populated trailer park.
Ex: Britney Spears

Redneck Rita • (red-ânek rit a)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, whose actions and opinions are similar to those of the rural South.
Ex: Tara Reid

Mattress-Back Road-Whore
(ma-tres bak rOd hOr)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, who appears to have had many multiple partners and has a weathered appearance.
Ex. Paris Hilton

Fug • (fUg)
adj.: Frightingly ugly.
Ex. Bjork

Whoreible • (hOr a ble)
adj.: Marked by or conducive to horrible. Can also be used as a noun or pronoun.
Ex. Sharon Stone

Whoretrocious • (hOrtrO-shes)
adj.: Utterly revolting
Ex. Kevin Federline

Gone • (go-n)
adj.: So far removed from reality it is unlikely to come back. Can be used as a noun or pronoun.
Ex. "That outfit is so gone."

Skank • (ske[a]k)
adj.: An individual whose actions are similar to those of a Trailer Park Tammy or Mattress Back Roadwhore.
Ex. Jessica Simpson

Puddin • (pu-din)
adj.: An individual who may not reside in a trailer park but probably should.
Ex. Lindsey Lohan

Critter • (kri-ter)
adj.: A being of anomalous or uncertain aspect or nature.
Ex. Whitney Houston

Fantabulous • (fan'tab ye-les) adj.: The combined usage of âfabulousâ and âfantasticâ.
Ex. Jessica Alba

Whore • (hOr)
adj.: Jessica Simpson
Ex. Angelina Jolie

Saturday, May 13, 2006

4 Comments:

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