Ridicluelessness

Monday, May 15, 2006

I'm A Skank In A Bottle

Is anyone else surprised that Christina Aguilera has a rather nice body in these pictures she posed for the upcoming issue of GQ? Here it's obvious that she is channeling the famous Marilyn Monroe picture from when Marilyn was actually just plain ole' Norma Jean.

Now, if we could do something about the whoretrocious bright red lipstick Christina has been so fond of lately and also if we could hide the bottle of bleach she insists on putting on her hair.

5 Comments:

D. Prince said...: Surprise Surprise. Christina's showing up naked again right before her album is to be released.

I find her gross. I can understand how people think she has a good voice but I can't understand how people can think she's hot to look at. Yuck.; 9:35 PM
Prunella Jones said...: I don't think she's that cute either but I do like her husband's gigantic jug ears.; 10:34 PM
sharonje927 said...: She's not a natural blond? I thought she is!!!

And here I thought you look like her Maddie (especially when she was just starting up and she's cute back then. Got some little meat on her). Now she's so skinny!; 5:42 AM
The Mistress said...: I'm about to follow the advice at the top of this box..."close this window."; 7:49 AM
Maddie said...: LMAO...MJ...you are so good with the one liners...; 7:51 AM

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: Name: Maddie; Location: Alabama

I know what you're thinking: I'm from Alabama and I have no business whatsoever pointing out the flaws of Hollywood Celebrities. But I'm very talented at running my mouth due to my years of working in Radio. I follow the daily lives of celebrities because it's a few hours a day that I am not trying to run my own advertising agency or be a mother to two little boys who demand juice every five mintues on rotating shifts. I have a wonderful bonus son who is determined to drive us all crazy and his mother (my husband's ex wife and dear friend of mine) into an early grave. My husband is a police officer and HORRIFIC pool boy. My mother's vocabulary includes words such as 'attack-ted' and 'muncho'. So who am I to tell celebrities that they should never have visible camel toe?

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Terms and Definitions

Trailer Park Tammy • ( 'trA-ler park tam âe)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, who appears as if she resides in a heavily populated trailer park.
Ex: Britney Spears

Redneck Rita • (red-ânek rit a)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, whose actions and opinions are similar to those of the rural South.
Ex: Tara Reid

Mattress-Back Road-Whore
(ma-tres bak rOd hOr)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, who appears to have had many multiple partners and has a weathered appearance.
Ex. Paris Hilton

Fug • (fUg)
adj.: Frightingly ugly.
Ex. Bjork

Whoreible • (hOr a ble)
adj.: Marked by or conducive to horrible. Can also be used as a noun or pronoun.
Ex. Sharon Stone

Whoretrocious • (hOrtrO-shes)
adj.: Utterly revolting
Ex. Kevin Federline

Gone • (go-n)
adj.: So far removed from reality it is unlikely to come back. Can be used as a noun or pronoun.
Ex. "That outfit is so gone."

Skank • (ske[a]k)
adj.: An individual whose actions are similar to those of a Trailer Park Tammy or Mattress Back Roadwhore.
Ex. Jessica Simpson

Puddin • (pu-din)
adj.: An individual who may not reside in a trailer park but probably should.
Ex. Lindsey Lohan

Critter • (kri-ter)
adj.: A being of anomalous or uncertain aspect or nature.
Ex. Whitney Houston

Fantabulous • (fan'tab ye-les) adj.: The combined usage of âfabulousâ and âfantasticâ.
Ex. Jessica Alba

Whore • (hOr)
adj.: Jessica Simpson
Ex. Angelina Jolie

Monday, May 15, 2006

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