Warning: Female 'Issues' Ahead

On the fourth of July, we had some friends and family come over to swim and cook out. My brother, for reasons unknown, wore an atrocious short brown wig (see left hand side. Progeny Two is modeling the wig for us...pay no mind to the red lipstick...that's a 'stache...we were playing Super Mario Brothers) that made him resemble Moe from the Three Stooges. Throughout the afternoon, everyone, including the kids, had put the wig on at some point. Then I was struck with inspiration. I snuck the wig inside and stuck it in the front of my swimsuit bottoms to give the appearance of a less than clean bikini line. Progeny One saw what I was doing and said, "Oh my gosh", shook his head and walked off. I walk outside and was like, "Let's go swimming!". Everyone starts laughing and then I noticed the husband of my best friend spits his beer (which was hidden in a Styrofoam cup cause we were hiding it from my mom) all over the place and begins laughing harder. My sister in law is desperately trying to get my attention, but I'm too busy working the room, for lack of a better term. Then, my brother yells out, "Hey Maddie! Your tea bag's hanging out!".

Care to take a gander?