Ridicluelessness

Friday, July 07, 2006

Zach Barff...I mean Braff

Rumor has it, that the facially challenged Zach Braff is wooing Jessica Simpson BIG TIME. Sources close to the two even go so far as to say the pair spent some time together in the Hamptons. I understand that some women find a sense of humor very attractive and all that but I don't care who it is...aint nobody that funny.

4 Comments:

The Mistress said...: He's starting to resemble Paul Lynde.; 10:08 PM
D. Prince said...: hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah. Thanks for telling it like it is on this one. He completely grosses me out.; 10:25 PM
T-girl said...: Well she is no prize either! I bet Nick Lache is still drunk from that kegger celebrating his divorce last week... and who could blame him, he made a narrow escape, the man deserves a war medal. In fact everytime I think of my in-laws I will remember poor Nick Lache and Joe Simpson and all will be well!; 2:00 AM
Anonymous said...: From Nick Lachey to that? Ummmmm. . . what ever rocks your socks Jess! But hey - it's no less than she deserves and now Nick can move on to bigger and better! *g*

Di; 7:08 AM

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: Name: Maddie; Location: Alabama

I know what you're thinking: I'm from Alabama and I have no business whatsoever pointing out the flaws of Hollywood Celebrities. But I'm very talented at running my mouth due to my years of working in Radio. I follow the daily lives of celebrities because it's a few hours a day that I am not trying to run my own advertising agency or be a mother to two little boys who demand juice every five mintues on rotating shifts. I have a wonderful bonus son who is determined to drive us all crazy and his mother (my husband's ex wife and dear friend of mine) into an early grave. My husband is a police officer and HORRIFIC pool boy. My mother's vocabulary includes words such as 'attack-ted' and 'muncho'. So who am I to tell celebrities that they should never have visible camel toe?

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Terms and Definitions

Trailer Park Tammy • ( 'trA-ler park tam âe)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, who appears as if she resides in a heavily populated trailer park.
Ex: Britney Spears

Redneck Rita • (red-ânek rit a)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, whose actions and opinions are similar to those of the rural South.
Ex: Tara Reid

Mattress-Back Road-Whore
(ma-tres bak rOd hOr)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, who appears to have had many multiple partners and has a weathered appearance.
Ex. Paris Hilton

Fug • (fUg)
adj.: Frightingly ugly.
Ex. Bjork

Whoreible • (hOr a ble)
adj.: Marked by or conducive to horrible. Can also be used as a noun or pronoun.
Ex. Sharon Stone

Whoretrocious • (hOrtrO-shes)
adj.: Utterly revolting
Ex. Kevin Federline

Gone • (go-n)
adj.: So far removed from reality it is unlikely to come back. Can be used as a noun or pronoun.
Ex. "That outfit is so gone."

Skank • (ske[a]k)
adj.: An individual whose actions are similar to those of a Trailer Park Tammy or Mattress Back Roadwhore.
Ex. Jessica Simpson

Puddin • (pu-din)
adj.: An individual who may not reside in a trailer park but probably should.
Ex. Lindsey Lohan

Critter • (kri-ter)
adj.: A being of anomalous or uncertain aspect or nature.
Ex. Whitney Houston

Fantabulous • (fan'tab ye-les) adj.: The combined usage of âfabulousâ and âfantasticâ.
Ex. Jessica Alba

Whore • (hOr)
adj.: Jessica Simpson
Ex. Angelina Jolie

Friday, July 07, 2006

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