Ridicluelessness

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Welcome Back Fatty

What in the name of Xenu happened to John Travolta? He looks like my dad. I hope you don't mind, but I've taken the liberty of changing a few of the lyrics to Welcome Back Kotter.

*Clearing throat*

Welcome back,
You dream about dining out.

Welcome back,
To the same ole place you like to gorge out.

Well your underwear is twice the size they used to be.
And your body in that water looks like a ship at sea.

Now we're scared you'll eat us (now we're scared you'll eat us)
Here's a Quesadilla, (here's a Quesadilla)

Now your man boobs look hot and your stomach's kinda pot, welcome back.
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.

9 Comments:

Anonymous said...: What happened to the good old days of Urban Cowboy and Saturday Night Fever?

~He got man boobs~; 10:21 PM
T-girl said...: ROTFLMAO! Good one!

Guess Scientologist don't practice moderation and exercise!;); 2:48 AM
sharonje927 said...: LOOOL!! That is great, Maddie!!
LOOL; 5:58 AM
Prunella Jones said...: "Now your man boobs look hot and your stomachs kinda pot, welcome back." LOL! This song will be in my head all day.; 7:48 AM
Anonymous said...: Oh come on! He's still cute! Don't wanna see him nekkid - but he's cute! LOL; 9:06 AM
The Mistress said...: John Revolta.; 10:14 AM
Sharie said...: LOL!! Nice one, Kimmie!!; 12:32 PM
Anonymous said...: Maddie - I want to request hot guys only!!!

I can see this at home nightly... well not that baaaad. LOL

ss; 2:10 PM
Pamer said...: MJ...I was going to say John Travolting, but yours is better; 2:56 PM

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: Name: Maddie; Location: Alabama

I know what you're thinking: I'm from Alabama and I have no business whatsoever pointing out the flaws of Hollywood Celebrities. But I'm very talented at running my mouth due to my years of working in Radio. I follow the daily lives of celebrities because it's a few hours a day that I am not trying to run my own advertising agency or be a mother to two little boys who demand juice every five mintues on rotating shifts. I have a wonderful bonus son who is determined to drive us all crazy and his mother (my husband's ex wife and dear friend of mine) into an early grave. My husband is a police officer and HORRIFIC pool boy. My mother's vocabulary includes words such as 'attack-ted' and 'muncho'. So who am I to tell celebrities that they should never have visible camel toe?

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Terms and Definitions

Trailer Park Tammy • ( 'trA-ler park tam âe)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, who appears as if she resides in a heavily populated trailer park.
Ex: Britney Spears

Redneck Rita • (red-ânek rit a)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, whose actions and opinions are similar to those of the rural South.
Ex: Tara Reid

Mattress-Back Road-Whore
(ma-tres bak rOd hOr)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, who appears to have had many multiple partners and has a weathered appearance.
Ex. Paris Hilton

Fug • (fUg)
adj.: Frightingly ugly.
Ex. Bjork

Whoreible • (hOr a ble)
adj.: Marked by or conducive to horrible. Can also be used as a noun or pronoun.
Ex. Sharon Stone

Whoretrocious • (hOrtrO-shes)
adj.: Utterly revolting
Ex. Kevin Federline

Gone • (go-n)
adj.: So far removed from reality it is unlikely to come back. Can be used as a noun or pronoun.
Ex. "That outfit is so gone."

Skank • (ske[a]k)
adj.: An individual whose actions are similar to those of a Trailer Park Tammy or Mattress Back Roadwhore.
Ex. Jessica Simpson

Puddin • (pu-din)
adj.: An individual who may not reside in a trailer park but probably should.
Ex. Lindsey Lohan

Critter • (kri-ter)
adj.: A being of anomalous or uncertain aspect or nature.
Ex. Whitney Houston

Fantabulous • (fan'tab ye-les) adj.: The combined usage of âfabulousâ and âfantasticâ.
Ex. Jessica Alba

Whore • (hOr)
adj.: Jessica Simpson
Ex. Angelina Jolie

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

9 Comments:

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