Poor Baby

Lindsey Lohan (seen above snogging with Pamela Anderson) did NOT deserve that meanie letter from those nasty old movie execs according to Mama Hohan. She says that her daughter is a 'wonderful child' and the letter was simply 'too much'. Mama Ho took her gripes to Access Hollywood and said the author of the letter was 'way out of line' for scolding her daughter. She claimed that perhaps he has personal issues with someone else and just took it out on 'her child', which she claims was not a 'smart thing to do to a young girl'. She also took issue with the assertion that Lindsey was hospitalized due to her partying and not dehydration as was released. She claims that her child has 'bronchial asthma' and can't breath under extreme conditions. Mama Ho says that she is a mother and will do what she need to do to protect her child.

Let me give Mama Ho a few pointers with child rearing.

1. Tell your 'child' to get her ass to work and show up when she's supposed to.
2. Encourage your 'child' not to smoke like a chimney if she has asthma.
3. Tell your 'child' not to be photographed drinking when she's only 19.
4. Tell your 'child' when she's on set and giving blow jobs to her fellow actor, not to wear a sweater when it's 105 outside.
5. Tell your 'child' she needs to come home before dawn.
6. Tell your 'child' she should limit her sexual partners to no more than one per month.
7. Stop referring to your 'child' as a 'child' when it's convenient.
8. Be a better example for your 'child'. Stop dressing like you're in your twenties and make her accept responsibility.
9. Be your 'child's parent. Not her best friend.

And most importantly...
10. Give me a break.