Let Me Help You Out With That......

In an attempt to get my two boys, ages seven and four, to mind, I devised a customized behavior modification plan. Very straightforward...you are rewarded by good deeds and penalized for bad ones. I went to Dollar General and dropped about $50 on craft materials to make my charts, ribbons for special awards etc. Do you know how hard it is to spend $50 in the Dollar General? I had been telling the boys for the past few days, how they were going to have the opportunity to earn rewards each week for being good. My oldest child's ears immediately perk up and he turns very business like and begins firing questions off at me in rapid succession.

Progeny One: "What happens if I clean up my room but leave a few toys out by accident? Will I get a ribbon taken away?"

Moi:"No little egg..."

Progeny One:" What if I clean up and J. comes in behind me and messes up? Will I get a ribbon taken away?"

Moi: "Of course not..."


He starts wearing me out after about ten minutes of non stop questioning when his questions become ridiculous.

Progeny One:"What if I cleaned up my room and an alien came down from a UFO and wanted to play with my toys and pulled out all of my toys while we were asleep and we didn't know it and when we all woke up we were scared because my room had been spotless? Would I get my ribbon taken away?"

Moi: "Under those circumstances...I'm afraid so."

So I get home with my purchases and spend hours working on both of these charts. I mean chart out each day for the next six months, and each day has like four things that have to be graded...it was ALOT of work.

I am finally ready for the Poster Ceremony. I call the boys in and show them their beautiful poster that their mother has poured her life into and slaved over forever. I explain how the system works.

Moi: "Now remember you each have your own poster. If you completed the task you get a sticker! But if you don't you get a big black 'x' mark and if you get more than two a week you don't get your prize."

Proge One nodded his head acknowledging he approved the rules and Proge Two nodded although he clearly could take it or leave it.

So I issued my first challenge: Pick up your toys. Proge One did not even check up...he was getting busy. Proge two started off with a bang but lost steam real quick but over all I was pleased. I put a huge gold star on each of their posters. Then a little while later, I issued my second challenge: Put Pj's on, brush teeth and get ready for bed...without fussing.

There were a few times that night I was not sure if they would make it but they did. By bed time, all four challenges had been completed and everyone had all four gold stars. I was so mad I had not thought of my brilliant behavior modification plan before now. I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

The next evening I issued my first challenge of the day. Pick up your toys. PTwo kept playing his Nintendo DS and said, "I'm goin' in a minute".

Moi: "No son, you go now! If mommy has to ask you a bunch of times you will get an "X" and if you get three 'x's' you wont get a prize this week!"

Two sighed loudly, set his game down and walked back to his bedroom.

I am woman...hear me roar. I have conquered the man-child. I hold the key to the universe in my tiny hand.

Five minutes later, Two walks back to the couch, picks up his game and starts playing, without saying a word.

Moi: "There is no way you can clean that room up that fast," I say in disbelief as I make my way to his room. He continues to play.

His room is the same. Still destroyed. But Progeny Two's poster has changed.

Every square, for every day, for the next thee months has black "x"'s in them.