Ridicluelessness

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Life Is So Unfair

J. Lo is probably wiping her tears with her one million dollar ass insurance policy because I think Jessica Biel is giving her a run for her money. I shudder to think of all the dirty things men and young pubescent boys have done while looking at pictures of her ass. I would be please with a fourth of what she has. I'm a petite woman so I got the shaft in the butt department. My ass is the size of a walnut.

6 Comments:

Anonymous said...: Good Lord! Girlfriend's got some serious junk in her trunk!

And coming from someone who's got *too much* junk in her trunk, I would KILL to have an ass the size of a walnut. So count your blessings small fry.; 9:03 AM
The Mistress said...: Your ass may be small but I bet you can shake that money maker.; 9:24 AM
Prunella Jones said...: Now that's what they call a badonkadonk. I feel your pain. I also suffer from flat ass syndrome. I wonder what it would be like to have an ass that big to shake at the boys.; 10:52 AM
Pamer said...: Walnuts are good MAddie!! They call them "one palmers" in the porn industry (one plam can cover a cheek)

i never understood the appeal of the JLo badunkadunk.

I think this photo was taken at a bad angle. She didn't have all that junk in the movie Stealth.; 1:06 PM
sharonje927 said...: Pamer - LOOL! I learn something new from you today. LOOL!

I think it's just a bad angle too.; 2:28 PM
Anonymous said...: Did you see this picture?

http://i103.photobucket.com/albums/m152/onedaytothenext/ontd/060814feousl_biel01.jpg

*sigh*

So unfair.

SL; 4:55 PM

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: Name: Maddie; Location: Alabama

I know what you're thinking: I'm from Alabama and I have no business whatsoever pointing out the flaws of Hollywood Celebrities. But I'm very talented at running my mouth due to my years of working in Radio. I follow the daily lives of celebrities because it's a few hours a day that I am not trying to run my own advertising agency or be a mother to two little boys who demand juice every five mintues on rotating shifts. I have a wonderful bonus son who is determined to drive us all crazy and his mother (my husband's ex wife and dear friend of mine) into an early grave. My husband is a police officer and HORRIFIC pool boy. My mother's vocabulary includes words such as 'attack-ted' and 'muncho'. So who am I to tell celebrities that they should never have visible camel toe?

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Terms and Definitions

Trailer Park Tammy • ( 'trA-ler park tam âe)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, who appears as if she resides in a heavily populated trailer park.
Ex: Britney Spears

Redneck Rita • (red-ânek rit a)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, whose actions and opinions are similar to those of the rural South.
Ex: Tara Reid

Mattress-Back Road-Whore
(ma-tres bak rOd hOr)
adj.: An individual, usually a woman, who appears to have had many multiple partners and has a weathered appearance.
Ex. Paris Hilton

Fug • (fUg)
adj.: Frightingly ugly.
Ex. Bjork

Whoreible • (hOr a ble)
adj.: Marked by or conducive to horrible. Can also be used as a noun or pronoun.
Ex. Sharon Stone

Whoretrocious • (hOrtrO-shes)
adj.: Utterly revolting
Ex. Kevin Federline

Gone • (go-n)
adj.: So far removed from reality it is unlikely to come back. Can be used as a noun or pronoun.
Ex. "That outfit is so gone."

Skank • (ske[a]k)
adj.: An individual whose actions are similar to those of a Trailer Park Tammy or Mattress Back Roadwhore.
Ex. Jessica Simpson

Puddin • (pu-din)
adj.: An individual who may not reside in a trailer park but probably should.
Ex. Lindsey Lohan

Critter • (kri-ter)
adj.: A being of anomalous or uncertain aspect or nature.
Ex. Whitney Houston

Fantabulous • (fan'tab ye-les) adj.: The combined usage of âfabulousâ and âfantasticâ.
Ex. Jessica Alba

Whore • (hOr)
adj.: Jessica Simpson
Ex. Angelina Jolie

Thursday, August 17, 2006

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