Broadened Horizons

So here I am at 32 and I'm...bored. Bored with everything. Work doesn't challenge me anymore...I could do what I do in my sleep, and I have so much free time on my hands, something I haven't had since I started working at 15 bagging grocery's at Kroger (worst.job.ever).

I decided to take ballroom dance lessons, and so far, I'm loving it, except for one tiny problem: My instructor has fierce body odor. My first lesson was later in the day, so I gave him a break, but my subsequent lessons have been earlier (in fact...I'm his first lesson of the day) and homeboy's pits are kicking it.

Yesterday when I got home, his B.O followed me around all freaking day. I washed my hands raw, I took a shower, I did everything I could think of and I could still smell his nasty ass. HOW CAN ANYONE HAVE RANK PITS THE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING???? I shudder to think of why he, in Southern terms, rurnt.

I had an epiphany when we were getting ready to practice the Tango and he held his hand out and there was dirt in his fingernails: he doesn't bathe. I couldn't even concentrate on 'quick, quick, slow, slow'. He even commented that I seemed pre-occupied and it was on the tip of my tongue to say, "You think? I'm about to faint from taking four tiny breaths per minute."

So what am I to do? Call his boss? I would DIE if he knew it was me. I thought about writing an anonymous letter telling her, but what if he figures it out? I have to do something though...I spend too much money for these lessons to be inhaling noxious fumes the entire time.

If I don't figure out something soon, I'm wearing a Hazmat suit to my next lesson.