Child of My Loins

Progeny Two is currently obsessed with two things: Flatulence and expelling the contents the afore mentioned usually suggests is on the way. He answers questions with the word 'farts' and suggest everything contains the ingredient 'doo doo'. It's gotten to the point that I've seriously considered seeing if there is a support group somewhere.

"Hello...My name is Maddie and my son is obsessed with poo."

He has even googled 'crap'. I'm scared to death when I think about what he might have seen.

The other night I was trying to read a book and he was sitting beside me. I wasn't paying a whole lot of attention at the time, but at some point, I was jerked from my vampire romance novel (you don't have to say it...I already know) when I realized I'd heard 'fart' about forty-seven times in the span of sixty seconds.

"Son! I do not want to hear that word come out of your mouth one more time! Do you understand? Not one more time!"

He giggled and got off the couch. I'd just gotten to the part where Natalie just arrived to the conclusion that John is really a vampire and she's repulsed, but secretly intrigued when P2 taps me on the arm and hands me a piece of paper.

Scrawled in big block-letters was: F A R T S

"I didn't tsay ith." He said with the biggest shit-eating grin, if you will forgive the analogy in light of the situation.

It was almost as if he knew he had me. I could hear him in my head saying,"Look, I know you are well within your rights to beat me, but you can't, because technically I didn't disobey you. You can't touch me. "

And what does it say about me, that when he walked off I was beaming, thinking to myself, "My Gosh, it's me at six! He is JUST like me!" instead of being concerned? Does he have any idea how cute it is to hear the word 'farts' when uttered with a lisp?

Have I been too transparent?