best ever seatbelt ad campaign

This is really neat!

You Can Have Great Hair Like MJ Too!

Is your hair dry and brittle? Do split ends drive you crazy? Is your hair flat and lifeless despite everything you do? Then you need "Jesus Juice" for your hair! Jesus Juice is an eco friendly shampoo that bathes your hair in minerals and extract from little boys that will make your hair stand up and say "Yes! I'm a pedophile!". Get your bottle of Jesus Juice at any jail cell near you.

Piece of Poo

We all knew that Kevin Federline was a blood sucking loser living off of his wife and I'm sure most of us expected him to try and squeeze every possible cent from Britney that he could. But his latest stunt shows his true colors. Sources close to the pair are saying that Kevin is threatening to sale a four hour tape of them having sex on their honey moon. He has already been offered $49 million from a local distributor who wants to make the tape available online.

This makes me so mad. I can't believe anyone would do that to the mother of their children and I sincerely hope he gets run over by a bus.

Read the entire story here.

Work...it?

Who decided that burlap sacks tied with an extension cord were going to be all the rage this year?

Call Me Crazy...

But when one is embroiled in a custody battle for their children, I don't think modeling the latest lingerie selection from Wal-Mart ('cause you know that's where she shops) is the image one should convey. BUT, I will give Brit Brit this:

• She looks like she has bathed recently
  
• Her hair is only partially matted
• Her fingernail polish has been completely removed
• There is no grease visible on her T-Zone
• She looks moderately stylish

I do wish, however, she would lower her skirt. I'm not really interested in seeing where Sean Preston and Jayden James came from.

Side note- When I spell checked my post, Jayden came up with 'Saddam' as an option.

K-Fed's Checks Are Gay

Now is your chance to own a piece of history. Stop reading and go to Ebay and bid on this check written by Kevin complete with "Insufficient Funds" stamped across it. Notice the quaint design in the background. Is it a bear? Or a doll? Whatever it is, it appears to be a glimpse into The Fed's economic life. Insufficient indeed.

Conversations With Mother

The above nail polish is my current color of choice. It's called 'Lincoln Park After Dark' by OPI and I've been wearing it on my toes for about a year. Well, recently I decided to paint my fingernails the same color. Something I rarely do. I'm a clear coat kind of girl. Most people don't like it in the bottle but quickly change their minds when they see it on. It's a great color for fall.

So mother comes over and she is aghast to say the least.

"What is that?" She said pointing to my fingernails.

"It's not black...it's eggplant," I said in a weary voice. "It's called 'Lincoln Park After Dark."

"I don't care if it's called Halleuliah Highway! It looks evil." She exclaimed.

"Well, it's not. And it's what's in your heart that counts anyway," I played the 'what's in your heart' card which was usually her argument when she said 'shit' or other words unbefitting of a genteel Southern Lady. It was okay for her to say 'shit' because 'shit' wasn't really in her heart I guess.

"You need to wear colors that proclaim life and uplift Jesus! Jesus is life and I don't think he would wear that color."

"Mother, I don't think Jesus would wear any color." She made it too easy for me sometimes.

"You know what I meant. There's victory in Jesus and you need to wear polish that reflects that! He's alive!" She was really getting wound up. I could tell I needed to end this as quickly as possible.

"Well. There's a new color coming out called 'Lustful Lucifer'. I plan on trying it out next month."

Have You Missed Me?

With all of the breaking news on celebrity divorces, poor wardrobe choices and Faith's freak out, it has been REALLY difficult for me not to blog. I've resorted to leaving messages all over message boards like K-Fed spreads his seed (I know..that was gross. See what happens when I go too long without a creative outlet?) So I'm thinking I may come out of retirement for a short while and just get it out of my system.