Ode To Sequins

Thou doth not know thy power over all other embellishments,
Thou catcheth the light and transport me to decades past.

Thou hath traveled the world and seen many a wedding and a prom,
Thou cometh in little plastic pouches so that I might replace you if you come undone.

Thou colors rival the rainbows that appear after rain has fallen,
Thou come in red like apples and yellow like pollen.

Tho some would say, "NAY!" and see your presence as a curse,
Thy beggeth you to adorn my jacket and my purse.

Thou maketh thy plain tank have pizzaz and spunk,
I know I am not alone for my partner is 'funk'.

Be ye flower or butterfly, oh sequin, thou is always cute,
and ye perfectly compliment my little black boot.

Poor Wuttle Paris

"I was treated unfairly," Paris Hilton says of her 45 day jail sentence. I have to agree. She's a celebrity. She should have been able to get four more DUI's before she was even slapped on the wrist. What is the world coming too when celebrities are no longer given special treatment? It's a world I don't want to be apart of, I can tell you that. Jail is for regular people who have jobs and problems. Not people like Paris who should be encouraged to disregard the law and safety of citizens. Who cares if she could have killed somebody? She is on the Simple Life for God's sake. That should count for something. Who needs a valid driver's license when you have your own CD? People. Please. Let's get things under control before something crazy happens and celebrities have to start paying for stuff.

The Hills Are Alive With Music

There is something about watching the sun rise that makes you feel whole and new. One need only look at the early morning rays as they stretch to touch towering trees and gently nudge the flowers awake. It's not hard to think about innocence and joy.

I'm sure that 45 days from now, when Paris Hilton exits the Women's Detention Center in Linwood California, she will be thinking of none of these things, because hopefully she will be somebody's bitch and her fingernails will be broken and chipped from wiping shit off the walls of the jail cell. Her vocabulary will have expanded to include words like "work" and "contribution to society" and "I'll beat yo ass if you look at me again you rich bitch" as well as "solitary confinement".

So bask in the warming rays of the Sun and know that for at least a month and a half, all is right with the world.

Food For Thought

No, this is not another post about Britney's poor choice of fabric or lack there of, I only wanted to point out the obvious: Britney has probably earned more money at two of her ten minute shows these past two days than Kevin Federline earned his entire 'career'.

Discuss.

And no matter how much you may beg, I WILL NOT weigh in on Britney's decision to pose topless with two fake flowers over her duckies. No! Shhhhh. Your attempts to drag me into your sordid web of ridicule and cluelessness is futile. Stop. Not another word. Nothing you say will make me post the heinous picture that set the female population back thirty years. And I most certainly will NOT look to see if she's wearing those DAMN boots.

It's over. Let it go. What we put into words today cannot be undone tomorrow. Go and rest my child. You will thank me in the morning.

Change Of Heart

Recently, I've noticed that the pictures of Cameron Diaz floating around having her looking positively...human. If you'll notice, she's doing something I've never really seen her do: smiling at a photographer. I kind of miss the old "I'll beat your ass with my purse and make you like it" Cameron. Ever since she and Justin Timberlake broke up, she's tried to project an air of...youth (not happening...sister is hagged out...I'm just sayin') and innocence. My personal opinion is that she's hoping Justin will see she's A) not bothered by their break-up, or B) not bitter. She also could be acting like a big mean barracuda and lulling the photographers into thinking she's okay with them taking her picture right before she takes those big firemen boots off and bludgeon's them repeatedly with them. I can think of no death more sad then being struck with a camel pair of slouchie's.

Guess The Banged Up Feet

I'll give you a hint: She has fangs and her initials are KRISTIN DUNST.

What is that? Scabies? Road Rash? Carpet Burn?